Her Home Became Her Sanctuary

I began my journey many years ago obsessed with the way my home looks. I had the perfect Instagram-worthy, one-bedroom apartment situated on a one-way alley in Pac Heights, San Francisco. I spent hours curating the perfect curtains and couch pillows. My oversized bed had many throw blankets and color-coordinated pillows that I would neatly pile on the floor each night before bed. Before I had guests over I would scurry about, ensuring each piece was just so. But my surroundings lacked depth. My space lacked the layers of feeling, of meaning, of things that would elicit a feeling or sensation from those who came over to spend time with me. I curated, except it was for the wrong thing, aimed in the direction of up—focused on the surface—rather than in: toward the felt sense.

I began a personal journey along the path of Eros, of learning how to feel—both the good and the bad. I wanted to feel the whole range of it. I wanted a life that was vibrant and nuanced. One that revealed more of who I am each step of the way. As I began to feel more inside of me, my environments became ever more important; it was less important what they looked like, and more important that they resonated with how I felt on the inside. My space became a reflection for my interior, a sanctuary to sit inside of; not only inside of myself, but inside that feeling in the here and now, in my home.

– Joanna Van Vleck, Founder of Organic Erotic